I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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