Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
