ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
