sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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