That's intense
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
