Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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