the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
