so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
