I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
