New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
