I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
