its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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