The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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