the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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