When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
