Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
