if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
