sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
