: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
