I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
