why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I want to be your penis for a week.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
