Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
