soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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