Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
