you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
