and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
