Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
