at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
