he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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