Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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