Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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