Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
