Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize