so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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