Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
