How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Soap is not a condiment
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
