tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize