how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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