Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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