just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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