I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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