We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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