Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
where am i from again
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
They have beer where we have blood.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
