i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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