all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
