i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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