yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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