what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
