is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
