Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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