I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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