i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
