my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
