you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
