Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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