Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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